The New Ideal with Natasha Solomon

When Influence Becomes Manipulation | S2E21

S2E21 | When Influence Becomes Manipulation

 

On episode 3 of the Ideal Woman podcast I introduced the concept of redefining the IDEAL Woman, and how this has allowed me to walk into my next season of womanhood as a whole new person.

Today I want to talk about the IDEAL Woman Identity but first 

Introduction: 

My name is Natasha Solomon, and I am on a mission to #elevate #womanhood for greater impact. To provoke thought and encourage dialogue, but more importantly to inspire positive change. 

 

I’m also a transformation coach, speaker, and consultant on womanhood, life, and leadership where I help women to successfully reach their goals without compromising their values and their integrity by activating their IDEAL Woman Identity. You can learn more by visiting my website at natashasolomon.com/idealroadmap and grab a copy of the IDEAL Woman Identity Roadmap to start your own transformative journey to becoming the ideal version of yourself.

 

Now let’s get into today’s topic…

Being a woman of influence is the first and most important identifier of the IDEAL woman, and what that means is that she has the power to influence anyone she comes in contact with. 

Now that is an incredibly powerful trait to possess, and one that in the hands of a misguided woman can turn into manipulation. Now if you’ve been listening to me for some time, you know that I love to clearly define and teach so let’s define influence and manipulation.

Influence: is having maximum capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone.  

Manipulation: is an attempt to sway someone’s emotions to get them to think or feel a certain way about a particular thing, oftentimes using mental and emotional triggers, more often than not to the person’s detriment and to the manipulator’s benefit. 

The danger is when both of these things exist in the same place, because sometimes we don’t realize we’re being manipulated if the influence is coming from someone we know, like, love and trust. 

 

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And with that I say thank you for tuning for another episode of the IDEAL Woman podcast, until next time I’m your host Natasha Solomon.

Let's stay connected!

Connect with me on Facebook & Instagram.

Access the IDEAL Woman Identity Roadmap and pre-launch details for the IDEAL Woman book at www.natashasolomon.com.

Don't forget to like, subscribe and share this podcast with the women in your life, see you on the inside!

 

Womanhood and The #SoftLife | S2E20

In this week's episode I address Womanhood and The #SoftLife movement currently happening in the online space.

If you’re a woman, or man, in the online space you might’ve heard this term #softlife, which is also referred to as a life of ease, grace and flow.

I denounce it and I’ll tell you why…

INTRODUCTION: for those of you who do not know who I am, my name is Natasha Solomon, I am a bible believing woman of faith, a wife, and mother of two, and I am on a mission to #elevate #womanhood for greater impact. To provoke thought and encourage dialogue, but more importantly to inspire positive change. 

I’m also a coaching consultant on womanhood, life, and leadership where I help women to successfully reach their goals by creating a highly actionable plan that captures their unique perspective, and aligns with their true identity and who they are authentically, as they AIM for a life of impact and leadership. And I always say, leadership and impact happens wherever you are in whatever role you play in your life both inside and outside the home. 

You can learn more about me on my website natashasolomon.com and social media @iamnatashasolomon on instagram and natasha solomon on facebook.

 

Now let’s get into it…

I recently read an article in essence magazine titled “Living the #Softlife” where the author described this concept as intentionally seeking comfort, peace, and rest, prioritizing our wellness and mental health as women. 

And while I do agree with intentional living, and prioritizing wellness - because how can you take care of others if you do not take care of yourself right?  So I’m all for prioritizing well-being, it is a form of self-love and preservation.

 

I have to disagree however, with this idea of seeking comfort and peace outside of the grace of God, because that’s how this narrative has gone wrong right? 

Where women are intentionally cutting people out of their lives, including their husbands, in the name of “protecting their peace” and having a life of ease and comfort that does not leave room for extending grace and love to others. 

• The bible says that love endures all things, 
• The testing of your faith produces endurance, and 
• do not grow weary of doing good because in due time we will reap the harvest if we do not give up, 
• even if it costs you all you have, including your peace. 

Why because weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.

Your peace comes from knowing that God is in control of everything and every circumstance, and your peace and joy should be found in him. 

Psalms 37:4 says delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. He never said to cut people off in the name of seeking comfort and protecting your peace, because sometimes we are called to do and endure things that will disrupt your peace and that’s the truth!

 

A quick back story, when I was in the hospital giving birth to my son. I tried to endure the labor pains and not get an epidural pain injection because I thought ok, my water broke, it won’t be long now. Plus I’m very skeptical of western medicine and all these side effects they come with.

 

Anyhow, because I had preeclampsia (high blood pressure) suffered during my pregnancy, the pain was causing my body to contract and was in fact raising my blood pressure even higher. So I had to get the epidural shot so that my body could relax enough to dilate so that I can give birth to my son.

 

What’s interesting about this story is not what I’ve just shared, it’s what my midwife said to me before I made the decision to get the shot. Her exact words to me were “it’s ok, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone, you need to get the epidural”. I look back on that statement and in some ways I find it offensive, because it’s a perception that as women, a black woman especially, we somehow wear this title of strong black woman as a badge of honor meanwhile jeopardizing our own well-being, and nothing could be further from the truth.

But womanhood by its very definition is a journey of resilience, endurance, challenges, and triumphs, that do not always come with ease and grace and flow.

 

And what is the definition of womanhood you ask, and I’m glad you did.

Womanhood is the state of being a woman (and if you listened to last week’s episode you know that a woman is an adult female made in the image of God with the ability to produce offsprings), 

So, womanhood is the state of being a woman and is marked by the ability to be used by God as a vessel to shape all of humanity through the power of love and by way of influence. 

 

Now that is a huge undertaking and one that does not come without sacrifice and in some instances surrender. 

 

So this idea of living a soft life and denouncing resilience is a cop out because it goes against the very definition of what it means to be a woman. 

 

Mary gave birth to Jesus in a barn y’all if that’s not resilience I don’t know what is. There was nothing soft about that. Life is hard, being a woman is hard, and you can try to soften it all you want with prioritizing ease and comfort over a God ordained duty to humanity, because while you’re prioritizing your comfort and protecting your peace, humanity is deteriorating. 

 

I want to encourage you today, to be an active participant in affecting the kind of change you want to see in this world and stay committed to where God has placed you, because it is so much bigger than you and I, so...

-  PULL UP A CHAIR

-  Make Empowered Decisions from a place of spiritual alignment, decisions that align with your true identity and

-  AIM for not a #softlife but rather, a Life of Impact.

 

The Future of Womanhood depends on it…yours, mine, your children’s children, and generations after them - Because IMPACT has a resounding ripple effect!

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And with that I say thank you for tuning for another episode of the IDEAL Woman podcast, until next time I’m your host Natasha Solomon.

Let's stay connected!

Connect with me on Facebook & Instagram.

Access the IDEAL Woman Identity Roadmap and pre-launch details for the IDEAL Woman book at www.natashasolomon.com.

 

Don't forget to like, subscribe and share this podcast with the women in your life, see you on the inside!

Excuse Me, May I Borrow Your Husband | S2E19.

In this episode I address the infiltration of culture on womanhood and the values that define our actions, but more specifically as it relates to our relationships, marriage and divorce.

Today’s episode is sponsored by The IDEAL Woman book: A Woman’s Guide to making empowered decisions and building the foundations that are necessary to support them as they AIM for a life of impact and leadership.  Pre-launch details available at www.natashasolomon.com/theidealwomanbook

• MY STORY - I was an adulterous woman, and today I come before you fully redeemed, my marriage has been restored, and God continues to sustain us as we battle the challenges of everyday life TOGETHER, and I do believe that is important.
• INTRODUCTION :-  I am Natasha Solomon, a bible believing woman of faith, a wife, and mother of two, I’m also a coach and consultant on womanhood, life, and leadership. I help women build the foundations necessary to support them as they AIM for a life of impact and leadership, and one thing I always say is that leadership and impact happens wherever you are in whatever role you play in your life both inside and outside the home.
• DISCLAIMER: My intention is not to judge or offend anyone, I come in peace, but if something I say offends you, I want to encourage you to seek divine guidance to identify the source of your offense. Because while it may seem like it is, I am not the source. Something I said simply triggered you. 
• In the last episode of the IDEAL Woman podcast “The State of Womanhood Address” I made the very bold statement that the world is in crisis because womanhood is in crisis, and I further qualified that by saying womanhood is in crisis because women are suffering alone, and in silence due to a lack of community. I then qualified that further by saying that one of reasons why women are not in community with each other like they used to be due to a lack of trust and the risk of exposing their families to abuse but more specifically their husbands to adultery. And that sounds absolutely ridiculous, trust me I know! That is why we’re going to talk about it.
• I want to start by first defining womanhood and then adultery.
  • 1. Womanhood is defined by 7 truths, which I discuss more in my upcoming book, and one of them is that it does not exist in isolation.
  • 2. Adultery is the act of being unfaithful and disloyal to ones’ spouse, and having sexual relations with someone other than the person you’re committed to. 
• I was led to talk about this because I recently watched a friend go through a divorce, and while she started to confide in me about her situation, there wasn’t enough time nor space for us to finish our conversation. So my friend, if you’re listening - I’m here, if you need me.
• It stirred up something inside me that said I need to talk about this publicly because it bothers me, and so I want to touch on four key points this evening.
• Love as a principle of elevated living.
  • Carousel post on IG about love, you can also download a free copy of the 7 Elevated Life Principles on my website www.natashasolomon.com
  • Choice, NOT defined by emotions, it allows us to show grace and compassion to others as well as ourselves, It says I desire for you all the goodness and humility I experience for myself.  Love does not mean self-sabotage. If you need a Biblical reference I would suggest 1 Corinthians 13:
• Emotional intelligence - separating fact from emotion. Also making decisions that are empowering based on facts and not emotions. That doesn’t mean we don’t allow ourselves to feel our emotions, we absolutely do. That’s where those foundations of support come in and one of those foundations IS Community.
  • If you’re an influential woman you have a responsibility to use your influence to effect positive change, and by trying to manipulate others to get on your side. Make empowering decisions from a place of emotional intelligence.  
• Adultery: In the Bible an adulterous woman is considered wayward and seductive, she is depicted as an unfaithful wife who seeks to undermine the social and moral foundations of the family and community. 
  • Which is essentially worse than a prostitute y’all. 
• The bible says a woman should be bound to her husband as long as he lives (hence till death do us part) then she can remarry a man that is godly - because at this point if you’re a mature woman of faith, why wouldn’t you?
• That’s not to say that every woman that has left her marriage and divorced her husband is adulterous, why? Because there is such a thing as repentance. Which says I recognize the error of my ways, I’m asking for forgiveness and will therefore move forward in a righteous direction, and that looks like choosing to either stay unmarried or remarry a godly man.
• I was an adulterous woman. I left my husband, divorced him, and was essentially priming myself for a new one. Yes I was. I gave myself 2 years, because I’m an efficient, high-achieving woman. Because the way I see it, he wasn’t acting like the man and husband God said he should be. I didn’t have an issue of infidelity that I knew about, but incompatibility was my issue. It wasn’t easy, breezy, beautiful cover girl for me, and I deserved better, and my mother, sister, aunty friend said I shouldn’t put up with this and that and the third, so we are out here living our best life, tits and everything in between hanging out! — 
• Finally friends, I want to talk about healing & forgiveness: 
  
  • • I was an unwise woman, who let everybody into her marriage, neglected her husband - by putting everyone else's opinion first - I was not diligent with the role God had assigned to me in that season of my life, the assignment I said I wanted and willingly committed to before my friends and family, and professed to love and honor this man until one of us dies! 
    • When you know the Truth it will require you to make some hard decisions. Decisions that require discipline, and integrity.
    • You are NOT responsible for that man’s actions, you are responsible for yours…It doesn’t justify or disqualify a man’s actions. He has to answer for that and he will, because consequences…
    • Infidelity is one of those actions where as a woman you are expected to leave and you are looked at as weak or insecure if you don’t. Infidelity is also one of the top 5 reasons why people get divorced. But if women, married and unmarried would stop accepting and participating in this culture of oversexualization of their body and allowing men to exploit them, how many married men do you think would be able to find somebody to cheat with consistently? Unless he finds himself a prostitute, in which case he better have enough money to afford that, because at least a prostitute has the good sense to get paid for it. I digress? 
    • I am a woman made in God’s image, I have been entrusted with the role of wife, AKA meek not weak helper, AKA a woman of discipline and strength with the ability to come alongside my man and positively influence him for the building up of nations and communities. I have a responsibility to lead my household by way of influence, where my husband and my children trust me to do so. And as a leader that means setting parameters that will protect the foundations I have built to support me in that role. So no ma’am, you may not borrow my husband, get your own!
  • Neither comes without repentance - and you cannot come to repentance without first seeing the error of your own ways. 
  • Take inventory of yourself and ask the hard questions and be willing to accept the answers. I had to.
• I want to end by saying this:- Know that you can forgive without forsaking - yourself, your husband, your children, your family and friends, or your community.
• Decide today that you will be an active participant in affecting the kind of change you want to see in this world and stay committed to where God has placed you, because it is so much bigger than you.
  • So PULL UP A CHAIR…
  • Make empowered decisions
  • Build Sustainable Foundations that will support you as you AIM for a Life of Impact.
  • The Future of Womanhood depends on it…Yours, mine, your children’s Children, and generations after them - because impact has a resounding ripple effect.

Let's stay connected!

Come hang out with me on Facebook & Instagram.

Access the 7 Elevated Life Principles Guide and pre-launch details for the IDEAL Woman book at www.natashasolomon.com.

 

Don't forget to like, subscribe and share this podcast with the women in your life, see you on the inside!

 

 

The State of Womanhood Address | S2E18

Hello, and welcome to Season Two of The IDEAL Woman podcast, formerly The True Womanhood podcast, where we are Reimagining Womanhood and redefining what it means to be the IDEAL woman one episode at a time!

Today’s episode is sponsored by The IDEAL Woman book: A Woman’s Guide to making empowered decisions and building sustainable foundations that lead to a life of impact and fulfillment. Pre-launch details available at www.natashasolomon.com/theidealwomanbook

 

THIS IS THE STATE OF WOMANHOOD ADDRESS, my version of what we all know as the state of the union address usually given by heads of states. And so speaking of states by the way, the whole world is in crisis because womanhood is in crisis.

 

Now that’s a pretty bold statement to make, so let me qualify what I mean by that:

Womanhood is in crisis because:

 

#1 - We have lost sight of God’s original intent and design for women.

#2 - There’s a lack of unity among women that’s counterintuitive to our design.

#3 - Womanhood is being dishonored by idolatry, and the glorification and oversexualization of the female form by both men and women.

Let’s get into it shall we?

I recently listened to a podcast where this married couple was discussing a woman's role in marriage and how to handle it when a woman tries to assume headship as opposed to the man, as God originally intended. One of the things that stuck out to me was their inability to define for their audience what a “woman” is. Which confirmed for me that we have indeed lost sight of God’s original intent and design for women AND womanhood. Now while this couple was not trying to define what it means to be a woman during their episode, they simply didn’t have the words.

 

Now according to the merriam-webster dictionary a woman is an adult female human. 

• A female according to the Oxford dictionary is “the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) that can be fertilized by male gametes.” 
• A human according to the biblical text is to be (a) made in the image of God and (b) either male or female. 

Culture says you get to define yourself however you please. So basically, you can identify as a woman by simply changing your outward appearance and negating the original biological design of the gender assigned to your physical body. Radically reforming who we are, and why we are, created an identity crisis, which shows up in the mass confusion of gender identity we see in the world today. It is infiltrating our systems of government, education, and religion in record numbers. 

 

Mass suicide, homicide, and genocide are world issues that arise out of identity crisis.

 

Point #2: Womanhood consists of a few foundational components that affect nation building that are intuitive to women. Community is number one.

Women all over the world are suffering in silence due to a lack of community, and an inability to depend on each other for support without feeling threatened, or without the risk of exposing their families to abuse and their husbands to adultery. 

That’s a whole other episode - so stay tuned.

According to the biblical text man (male and female) were created in the image and likeness of God. In the text God referred to himself in the plural, when he said “let us, make man..” Which indicates that the creator exists in plurality. Which also means that we are meant to exist in plurality as well - which sheds light on the command to increase and multiply. Now I know some may argue that this passage of scripture doesn’t mean to only multiply and have children, but I’m not debating that at this point in time.

 

Every woman needs an Elizabeth. Someone to show them the ropes, and guide them. A Titus 2 model. Otherwise you have nations of women having children, and getting married without the proper guidance on how to navigate womanhood, much less being a wife and mother. As a result, women are getting divorced, leaving their husbands, and children in record numbers all over the world seeking companionship in the arms of other men and in some cases other women. Others are experiencing abuse, and neglect, while others are being sex trafficked and later have their lives cut short.

 

Women are being misguided and led astray due to a lack of community.

 

POINT #3

Can we talk about the over sexualization of the female form? 

 

The demeaning way in which both men and women glorify a woman’s body is very concerning to me. It’s to the point where women are dying on operating tables all across the world trying to get a bigger this, and a thicker that. It’s all vanity and has no bearing on the elevation of humanity. It only contributes to the deconstruction of womanhood. 

 

What ever happened to girding your loins with strength? There is a lack of dignity and decency among women that is a direct result of a lost sense of identity.

 

If we could only reclaim our identity and find the dignity to carry ourselves as women other than over sexualized objects, we just might regain God’s glory, and perhaps the world can be a better place for you, me, our children’s children, and their families. 

And just for the record, women do not run the world, God does.

And with that I say, thank you for tuning in for another episode of the IDEAL Woman podcast, until next time, I'm your host Natasha Solomon.

 

Let's stay connected!

Come hang out with me on Facebook & Instagram.

Access the 7 Elevated Life Principles Guide and pre-launch details for the IDEAL Woman book at www.natashasolomon.com.

 

Don't forget to like, subscribe and share this podcast with the women in your life, see you on the inside!

 

 

Principles of Courageous Living: Building Extraordinary Faith with Courage Molina | S1E17

This week's episode of the True Womanhood podcast features the incredible Courage Molina. 

Courage is a Faith Coach and everyone’s favorite Bible Teacher! It’s no surprise that her life’s work is to help ambitious, purpose-driven women to build extraordinary faith so that they have the confidence to go after the life they really want.

She believes the foundation of becoming your most bold, confident and courageous self is in the daily habit of studying and applying the word of God to your life! As the  Lead & Founding Pastor for Bold Faith Community Church she preaches and teaches the bible weekly.  Through her online school Courage Molina University her courses teach women how to build routines, habits, and mindsets that will support them on their journey to greatness. Courage is also the author of Power Principles of Courageous Living and the host of the award-winning podcast Dose of Courage. 

She is a wife and mother of 3 currently living in NC. 

On this episode Courage and I talked about some of the worldly conversations happening around womanhood, biblical principles, marriage, divorce, and integrity. 

I hope you enjoy our incredible conversation as much as I enjoyed having it and listen to it over and over again.

Don't forget to share with the women in your life and let me know your thoughts.

Let's stay connected!

Join the True Womanhood Insider community on Facebook.

Come hang out with me on Instagram.

Access the True Womanhood Resource Guide at nclarkesolomon.com.

Connect with Courage Molina at https://couragemolina.org/

Don't forget to like, subscribe and share this podcast with the women in your life, see you on the inside!

Becoming: Who Are You Becoming | S1E16

This week's episode of the True Womanhood podcast concludes the "Becoming" series with the topic Who Are You Becoming. This episode helps you understand why it's important to answer this question and others during every cycle and in every season of your life. 

The bible says in Ecclesiastes 3, “to everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven,” and that echoes throughout our lives. The truth is many of us are never fully prepared for the next season of our lives. This episodes covers three ways in which you can prepare for the evolution of who are you becoming. 

I hope you are encouraged by this episode.

 

Don't forget to share with the women in your life and let me know your thoughts.

Let's stay connected!

Join the Reimagine True Womanhood community on Facebook.

Come hang out with me on Instagram.

Access the True Womanhood Resource Guide at nclarkesolomon.com.

Don't forget to like, subscribe and share this podcast with the women in your life, see you on the inside!

Becoming: Who Are You | S1E15

On this week's episode of the True Womanhood podcast I am building upon the previous episode in the Becoming series titled "Becoming: Who Am I", and I would like to get to know you or rather encourage you to get to know yourself on this journey.

As we journey through life, and more specifically as we journey through womanhood, we go through seasons. Seasons that are marked by change, and those changes more than anything else are meant to grow and propel us to the next season of our lives. Each season building upon the previous, to take on the next thing, and the next, and the next. Know who you are in those seasons so that who you become is exactly who you want to be! I hope you enjoy this episode. 

Don't forget to share with the women in your life and let me know your thoughts.

Let's stay connected!

Join the True Womanhood Insider community on Facebook.

Come hang out with me on Instagram.

Access the True Womanhood Resource Guide at nclarkesolomon.com.

Don't forget to like, subscribe and share this podcast with the women in your life, see you on the inside!

Becoming: Who Am I | S1E14

This week I'm kicking off a brand new series called "Becoming" and I am doing another journal share, where I let you in on an entry from my personal journal. This entry is titled 'Who Am I'. As you listen to this episode know that I always come from a place of love, and gratitude. I am a person that lives with great expectancy for myself as well as others! I hope you enjoy this episode. 

Don't forget to share with the women in your life and let me know your thoughts.

Let's stay connected!

Join the True Womanhood Insider community on Facebook.

Come hang out with me on Instagram.

Access the True Womanhood Resource Guide at nclarkesolomon.com.

Don't forget to like, subscribe and share this podcast with the women in your life, see you on the inside!